Monday 5 December 2022

The House that was home

                                              

Ours was not the typical ancestral home with tiled roof , front garden and many wings . It was  big but  rather  match box like ,with rooms, bathrooms , out house and garage  added on  as the need arose .It jutted out to the front, almost touching the road, but had more space at the back . It reminded  me of Naipaul’s ‘ House for Mr. Biswas’ . But it was made out of our Achan’s hard earned  savings  of a lifetime and was a treasure house of our childhood memories.

I was ten when we shifted to Devi Vihar,  our  house at Ambalamukku . While it was still under construction, Achan used to go there regularly after office hours in order to supervise the construction. Sometimes he would collect my younger sister and me from school and bring us to the construction site. Initially the ground had been over grown with sweet potatoes, coconut  trees  and banana palms. Once the construction began, the area was cleared. There was a lot of plain ground to run about and play. My sister and I made friends with the neighbourhood boys and we used to play hide and seek and SAT while the elders were engaged in serious discussions about plan and execution

After shifting to the new house I remember  all of us using waste cloth to wipe the floors which were painted red with red oxide. The workers had left footprints upon the polished floors by sheer  negligence and we  tried  to erase them with wet cloth and soap suds but to no avail. Every Sunday we were given various tasks to do around the house – dusting, cleaning the window panes, planting saplings in the garden and so on.

One fine day , Amma came up  with the fantastic idea of growing poultry .Since we had a vast backyard , the compound seemed ideal for the purpose. Soon a chicken coop took pride of place at the back of the house and into our large household  entered  a flock of two legged creatures- a rooster , resplendent in its gleaming plumage, flanked by an entourage of hens. There were hens of  white leghorn and black minorca breed  to add variety and spice to the rooster’s life. At first we were fascinated by the clucking  and crowing in our backyard . The hens  thrived on the care and attention given to them and started yielding eggs. We used to run to the coop on hearing the special cry of the hens , inorder to collect the eggs .These eggs  were much larger than the ones we got from the market. Achan and Amma were cheered by this constant supply of protein and vitamins to our large , gowing family. But the craze did not last long. Our backyard was ruined by  large chunks of chicken poop . Many a time our feet were soiled by the poop from  so many bird inmates. As the fowls  started  scratching and eating the grains, Amma’s crops were ruined beyond redemption. Soon we were fed up of eating the large eggs laid by our hens and preferred the smaller variety available in the market. My brothers expressed a desire to eat the flesh  of the chicken instead of the  eggs  but Amma would have none  of it. The matter was resolved when a fox got wind of the presence of easy prey close by. One night we heard unnatural sounds in the backyard followed by the alarmed cries  of the fowls. Our investigation revealed that one hen was missing from the brood. We strengthened the coop but to no avail. Two more nocturnal attacks occurred .The poor fowls were terrified and Amma was disheartened. She decided it was better to feed her children instead of the fox .That put an end to the poultry farming craze. For years to come, the chicken coop stood as a sad memorial to a fancy  that misfired. 

A year after  shifting to the new house, my elder sister got married and left home with her husband. Mani aunty, Achan’s colleague’s wife had taught her stitching and I picked up the rudiments of stitching by watching her at work. Soon I started stitching clothes for myself  .My  elder brothers who were in college,  used to wear flashy, colourful clothes but  our wardrobe was limited to frocks, skirts and blouses stitched out of the material bought by Achan . We were satisfied with what we had till the time our Uncle returned from Singapore and brought for us lovely pleated skirt and top ensembles which made us the cynosure of all eyes. These Singapore dresses held pride of place in our ward robe for years to come and we continued wearing them till they became mini skirts and micro minis. Finally Amma expressed her chagrin at our crossing the limits of decency and forced us to discard them  . .

Since we were 7 siblings growing up in the same house we learnt sharing and caring and had a lot of fun  at the expense of others . The bonhomie that held us together helped us overcome many of the short comings of a huge joint family. Achan was a strict task master  who  supervised  our every move .Our energy was mostly directed at thwarting his attempts to control us.

 My younger sister and I used  to chant the prayers every evening, read the Gita and attend matapadashala on Sundays in the nearby temple. A venerable,   bearded sage  taught us  the inner meaning of the scriptures. More than the lessons, we  were lured by the tasty ghee payasam served as prasad at the end of the ritual. Achan  would make us read the editorial of the English news paper  every day in an attempt to improve our English. Since I was an avid reader he allowed me to read Enid Blyton and Perry Mason series on condition that I would write a synopsis of each book that I read. Little did he know that every book had a synopsis on the cover and I was merely copying this .He also failed to realize that  I had  graduated from Perry Mason to  Chase and then to Mills and Boon and was chain  reading on the sly, compromising my  academics  and eyesight .Sometimes he used to come noiselessly up the stairs for an inspection. But  whoever  occupied the seat next to the stairs alerted all others so that we all pretended  to be hard at work with our note books and text books.

For Navarathri, we used to arrange the photos and idols of Gods and perform  pooja, copying  our  neighbours who arranged kolu ( an elaborate arrangement of idols for ten days of navrathri pooja).. All of us would sing bhajans  together . The combined effort was enough to shake the house. Amma would come running up the stairs , cautioning us not to disturb the neighbours. Her pleas fell on deaf ears .There was more noise from around us- loud speakers blaring from the nearby temple, bhajans  and prayers , verbal duels, drunken brawls from other home steads. We  felt we had a right to  make our presence felt in the melee.

The temple was the pivot of our activities in those days. We learnt kolattam which we performed during Sreekrishna jayanthi. We took part in bhajan competitions and  Akhanda namam , chanting prayers while going around the tall  lamp . My childish heart leapt in joy to witness  the kodiyettam and  kodiyirakkam ( the hoisting and lowering of the flag) of the annual festival of the temple. All of us used to be present on all 10 days of the annual festival .  Amma would  accompany us for kathakali which lasted the entire night . She would explain the meaning of some symbols and signs used by the performing artists. When sleep over powered us, we would doze off on the sheet spread on the ground or on a  chair if we were lucky to get one. When the kathakali dancers were involved in a battle, she would wake us up as she knew that we enjoyed the battle scenes.We were  particularly riveted by  Dussasana vadham  where Bhima and Dussasana would move up and down the stage uttering loud shouts and cries. Then Bhima would kill Dussasana, take out his intestines and apply the blood on Panchali’s hair. Our little hearts thrilled in amazement  as  we gaped , open mouthed, at the elaborate costumes , the long nails and the thick make up of the kathakali artists. As the coils of twisted cloth came out of Dussasana’s stomach, we were deluded into believing that it was the intestine that was pulled out by Bhima. Oh! Those were the days when the mind accepted without question , everything that took place in the make- belief world of  fables and tales . My child’s  mind had implicit trust in the triumph of good over evil  

The ten day festival culminated in the  arattu  on the final day of the festival . We were  in a constant state of excitement  that day. We used to help Amma  in arranging the paraphernalia required for receiving   the procession. In the evening we would stand awestruck to watch the commencement of the procession which took place right in front of us as our house was adjacent to the temple. There were band groups, decorated kavadi, men and women decked up as various characters from mythology. Bringing up the rear , there were  caparisoned elephants , the biggest of them carrying the idol of God on its back. Most of the time there used to be three or five elephants but as the interest in grand spectacles  soared  , the no of elephants also increased. Once we had 21 elephants for the procession which brought the traffic in the area to a standstill. We watched the huge pachyderms in awe   from a safe distance . The next day’s newspaper carried the report of an elephant running amok from Perookada to Kowdiar and that put an end to such public displays. In the subsequent years the no of elephants was limited to 3 or 5.

My childhood was intimately interlinked with the activities of the temple. The elephant which was brought to the temple for the 10 days of the festival used to come to our house to pluck coconuts and palm leaves . We would offer the huge visitor bananas and jaggery and would watch with bated breath as the elephant extended its trunk and gobbled up the goodies with relish. No wonder then that the elephant appeared in my dreams as well and as in real life, and  I would lie mesmerised and  dumbstruck   as the dream elephant closed in and woke me up from deep slumber.

As  siblings, the seven of us  had a close  bond and were  partakers of  many a  misadventure . If walls could tell, they would narrate the tales of Devi Vihar brothers and sisters playing pranks on unsuspecting friends and visitors.  Now with hindsight I am able to understand what an economic burden it must have been for Achan to cater to the needs of seven growing children and what a Herculean task it must have been for Amma to prepare food for all of us. Children grew up, took up employment and got married. We have among us engineers, bank officers, sales executives, doctorate scholars and educators. This was no mean achievement for Achan and Amma who hailed from an obscure village in Malappuram and shifted to the abode of Anantha Padmanabha  Swamy to eke out a living .

When I got married to an army officer and went away to the north, I had the first taste of life away from home, away from my native land, away from the old familiar faces . Adapting to the new situation was  not a hard task- now I marvel at the ease with which I learnt the customs, traditions and language of the North and joined in as a member of the glamorous army clan. But there was always a yearning to come back to the lap of nature in Kerala, and to the house which had nurtured me in my formative years.

   Flitting from one station to another , travelling the length and breadth of the country was an exhilarating experience. Packing all our household  articles in boxes, numbered and marked, my heart would fill in  anticipation of  the new places I would see, the new people I would meet and the new adventures that awaited me. My husband was a  travel enthusiast and from him I too caught the travel bug. . The birth of our two sons did not hinder the wander lust that had gripped us and we discovered our Bharat Mahan in the course of our travels.

My husband’s sudden demise shattered our cosy world. I was just 38 at the time, with two growing boys of 15 and 10 under my wings. I decided to come back home though many tried to dissuade us as my father’s Alzheimer’s  disease had  progressed to a  state of dementia and mother was an angina patient. Many well wishers advised us to stay in the army station instead of taking up the  responsibility of two sick and aged  parents . I don’t have an idea what had spurred me on to take the decisions which could  change my  life but now, on looking back,  I feel they were the right decisions .

There are no hard and fast rules to bring up children  , especially for a single parent but somehow we trundled on. My career as a teacher  was a boon – the students and my colleagues were a balm to my bruised feelings. The cosy world of the army with its outings, picnics and parties became a distant memory as my days and nights were filled with lectures, answer scripts and parent- teacher meetings .

Bad times don’t last forever. My children grew up to be fine young men. Siddharth settled in the UK and Arjun joined the Army Institute of technology. There was no looking back.

A year and a half after my arrival in Trivandrum, my father who had been my greatest support, passed away. Amma   was non judgemental and non interfering- it was so easy to live with her. She loved flowers and birds and was willing to lend a helping hand to anyone in need.  Her support helped me tide over  much emotional trauma.   The  maid  employed to look after Amma proved to be a staunch supporter in our difficult times. She became  Amma’s confidante and nurse . It  was owing to her that I was  able to carry on  my domestic responsibilities without a hitch. When Amma passed away in 2015, I had become so set in my ways that I wanted to continue living in the same house for ever. But that wish did not materialize. There were days when I stood in the temple with folded hands, beseeching God to help me take the right decision –  whether  to construct a new house or continue staying in the old one. As if He heard my prayers, things fell into place and my dream house materialised . My  sons and daughters in law find the new house appealing  , a delightful haven to relax  during holidays. . The arrival of my grand daughter into our lives  has brought joy and contentment into our lives. . Now as I sit on the verandah and gaze at my garden, I marvel at the destiny which brought me here, to enjoy my retirement in peace.

The house that was my home  for a major part of my life was put up for sale. It is sad to part from a house which held sweet reminiscence s of our childhood and teenage years and had  witnessed my struggle as a young widow. More so because it was the outcome of the sweat and toil of Achan and Amma  . My heart fills with pride when I think of the unceasing hard work – blood, sweat and tears- involved in our metamorphoses into  educated , wholesome human beings. I can only bow my head in reverence at the memory of Achan and Amma  who made us what we are. This is the time to spare a thought for their sacrifice and shed a  few tears of gratitude for their labour of love . But life  has to go on…..and I have learnt to move on…. without  past regrets and future fears. Que sera sera…….